Welcome to Melvin’s Skits
©David and Goliath
(A skit for children)
is big, but the soldiers of the army of
Voice of Goliath
Reporter: I'm standing here between two huge armies: the Philistines and the Israelites. But, there's no fighting. It seems that the Philistine's biggest soldier, a really big guy named Goliath, wants to fight. But King Saul and the Israelites are too afraid to send anyone out. (turns to the kids) There's quite a crowd here to see the fight. Let me see what they think. (approaches the kids) Do any of you know who Goliath is? Have you seen him? He's huuuuuuge! He's over 9 feet tall. I'd be afraid of him, too. Fortunately, I'm a reporter and I don't have to fight. Do any of you want to fight Goliath?
Hang on. I see some Israelite soldiers. I'm going over there to talk to them. Let's see if one of them is ready to fight Goliath.
Goliath's Voice: (offstage - big...booming...fierce) Come on, Israelites! Who's going to fight me? I'm not leaving until somebody comes out to fight me!
Reporter: Whoa! Did you hear that? He sounds like he's a hundred feet tall! Hey, you. (grabs an Israelite soldier) Are you going to fight Goliath?
Soldier 1: Who? Me? Uh uh. Not me. They say he's 20 feet tall...I hear he's got a spear the size of a telephone pole and a shield the size of a dump truck. (turns to the kids) Would you want to get hit with a telephone pole? Me neither.
Goliath's Voice: Is the army of
Soldier 1: I've got to get out of here. I...I...I think I hear my mom calling. I've got to go. (exits)
Reporter: I hear my mom calling? He's a soldier. (turns to the kids)
Do you think he really heard his mom calling him...or was he just too scared of Goliath? (sees another soldier. Soldier 2 enters holding a drinking cup) Hey, I recognize you. You're one of the toughest soldiers in King Saul's army. (to the kids) Come on…let's have some applause for this really tough soldier.
Soldier 2: Thank you…thank you.
Reporter: (puts his arm around Soldier 2's shoulder) So, what brings you out here?
Soldier 2: Officially, I'm a soldier in the Israelite Army under the command of King Saul. But, (points to the kids) can they be trusted to keep a secret?
Reporter: I don't know. (looks at the kids) Can you keep a secret? Good. (looks back to Soldier 2) Yeah, they can keep a secret.
Soldier 2: I'm really here because I like the food.
Reporter: You're looking a little pudgy there. Are you sure you can still fight?
Soldier 2: (scowls) Are you kidding? I can fight anyone…with one arm tied behind my back.
Reporter: So, tell me. Are you going to fight Goliath?
Soldier 2: (almost choking) Are you nuts? Goliath is 50 feet tall…and he's got laser beam eyes.
Goliath's Voice: Hey you…over there…with the cup. You look tough…come on…fight me. I won't hurt you…much. Ha ha ha.
Soldier 2: (looks around, then at the cup, then at the reporter, then goes into the kids, gives the cup to one kid and sits down next to him) Hey, Goliath's talking about you. You…you better go fight him. He wants to fight the soldier with the cup. (shouting) Here's the soldier with the cup. He's the one you want…not me.
Reporter: (embarrassed) Isn't anyone going to fight Goliath? How can I do a news report if there's no fighting? (sees Soldier 3)You Come here. You're going to fight if I have to drag you out there myself. (Soldier 3 tries to run but is grabbed by the Reporter. Looks at the kids) These people came to see a fight…didn't you? Me, too. Come on…Goliath's only 9 feet tall.
Soldier 3: No…no…900.
Reporter: What's 900.
Soldier 3: Goliath. He's 900 feet tall. He's got a shield as big as Texas.He's not afraid of anything. He…he's bigger than God. (David enters)
David: No he's not.
Reporter: Who are you?
David: My name's David. And Goliath's not bigger than God. Nobody's bigger than God.
Soldier 3: You're just a kid. What do you know about Goliath or fighting?
David: I don't know a lot about either, but I know about God. God can handle anything, including Goliath. It doesn't matter if Goliath is 9 feet tall or 900 feet tall.
Reporter: He's right. You're just a kid. What can you do?
David: God can use me. It doesn't matter if I'm a kid. God can help me do big things.
Soldier 3: You mean like fight Goliath? Ha ha ha. That's a good one.
Goliath's Voice: Israelite soldier. (Soldier 3 reacts) Yeah, you. You look like a fighter. Stop playing with the kid and come and fight me.
Soldier 3: (looks at David) Um…um…I'd like to fight you, but the kid says he wants to first. So, you know, I don't want to cut in line (turns to the kids) do I? I'll…I'll just sit here and wait my turn. (sits down)
Goliath's Voice: So, after I squash the kid, you'll fight me?
Soldier 3: No, (pointing to one of the kids) he will. Won't you?
Goliath's Voice: Enough. Come on, little kid. Let's fight.
Reporter: You're not actually going to do this, are you David?
David: Sure, because God's with me. And if God's with me, I can do anything. (David exits)
Reporter: There goes a brave kid. I'm going to miss him.
OK. Finally. There's going to be a fight. That's what I came to report.
Goliath's Voice: Is this the best
the army of
David's Voice: I may be just a kid, but I'm going to fight you in the name of God. He'll help me beat you, Goliath.
Reporter: Goliath's big. And he's mad. David is…well…David's a kid.
Goliath looks like he's ready to charge. David puts a rock in his sling. He's spinning it over his head. He…throws the rock. (BONK!)
Goliath's Voice: Ow! Owie, owie, owie. That hurt. I don't want to fight any more. You fight too rough.
Reporter: Amazing. Goliath is down. And he doesn't want to fight anymore. David's the winner. (David enters)
Reporter: David, come over here. I don't believe it. I was sure Goliath would win. What's your secret? Is it the sling? Did you pick just the right rock? What was it?
David: It was God. With God, I can do anything.
Reporter: Well, there you have it. The giant Goliath has been beaten and God did it with a kid. Amazing. Back to you in the studio.