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©Signs I’ve actually seen

(copyright 2009)


If you’re not familiar with Stuckey’s roadside stores, they’re places on highways where travelers can stop and buy cheap souvenirs and a hamburger made in an Easy-Bake oven, while their car is being filled. In the seventies there was a sign on hwy 75 that said Eat at Stuckey’s and get gas. Needless to say, that particular Stuckey’s is no longer in business.


A sign held by homeless person. Will work for food. Why won’t you work for money? Does that make it too much like a job?


A sign on the door of the men’s room at Home Depot. We rent tools.


Two signs on both sides of the one-way service road of a freeway. Guardrail        damage. Somebody took the time and trouble to silk screen the signs, attach them       to poles, dig two holes, and pour and set with concrete. Why didn’t they just fix   the freakin’ guardrail? Probably could have done that with less time and money.


A sign in Sunnyvale, Tx. “Vote for Bubba Titsworth for mayor of Sunnyvale.” My first thought was, What are Bubba’s tits worth?


Antique Land: Is there any land that isn’t antique? I mean, land is dirt and dirt is as old as…dirt. So, all land is antique land.


A sign on the back of a delivery truck. How’s my driving? You don’t know? If you don’t know how your driving is, then maybe you shouldn’t be driving.


While driving near Canton, Tx. I saw several strange signs. In the front yard of a house was this sign: We don’t have bait. It made me wonder. Did the man usually have bait or did he just have a problem with people stopping by wanting bait?


Another sign in Canton, read: Flea Poo in big yellow letters on the side of a metal building. I’m sure they wanted passers by to stop and ask, but I would rather just wonder about it.


Near Canton, in the town of Little Hope, was this sign: Little Hope Baptist Church. I’m thinking that’s probably not a great name for a church, but that’s just me.


In Tyler was/is this business: Chihuahua Tires. I’ve got no comment on this.


I was sitting at a red light (in my car) when a big truck drove through the intersection in front of me. The sign on its side read: Erection Specialist and it had a large crane sticking up in the air.


A little country store near a lake apparently sold sandwiches and bait, but their sign said: Bait Sandwiches.



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