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The Eggheaded World of the Egghead


††††††††††† What Iím fixiní to tell you, some fool thought this stuff up. Can an egghead be a fool? You tell me. First of all, letís define egghead.

††††††††††† The simple definition (in a 1953 Websterís New World Dictionary): an intellectual.

††††††††††† But you see, thatís not right, because there are a lot of intellectuals who are not eggheads. Right? I have to admit, Iím going on the assumption that intellectual and intelligence are synonyms. But perhaps theyíre not.

††††††††††† According to Wikipedia, An intellectual is a person who uses intelligence (and then they tell you intelligence is thought and reason just in case you are not intelligent) It goes on to say, itís a person who uses critical or analytical reasoning in either a professional or a personal capacity. So Iím sticking with my previous assumption that all intellectuals are not eggheads, but all eggheads are intellectuals.

††††††††††† Britain has its word for an egghead: Boffin.

†††††††††† Other synonyms are: highbrow, elitist, geek, nerd.

According to Wikipedia, the word, egghead, was originated in 1952 and was originally used without invidious associations, but quickly assumed them. INVIDIOUS? Come on, man. Why donít you just say without ill will or resentment, you egghead?

. ††††††††† The official modern day definition of an Egghead is: A person of spurious intellectual pretensions, often a professor or the protťgť of a professor; A self-conscious prig, so given to examining all sides of a question that he becomes thoroughly addled while remaining always in the same spot.

††††††††††† My definition of an egghead: A person who attempts to make the world around them complicated so that no one else can understand it.

††††††††††† I believe the first egghead created his or herself, because he or she was way too intelligent to have been created by anyone or anything else other than his or herself. True eggheads say they do, but probably donít really believe in evolution, because that would be something that was out of their control. But they probably wonít ever admit that one out loud, because evolution has become an eggheadís montra to the real world.

††††††††††† Eggheads have created their own words and theories that are so absurd, normal people are not able to comprehend them and this way the egghead becomes superior to everyone else.

††††††††††† Many of the words created by eggheadism are used daily and taken for granted by everyday people. But some of us are beginning to question these words.

††††††††††† For instance: ††† Why are backdoor one word and front door two words?

††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† Why are backyard one word and front yard two words?

††††††††††† Why is that? You may say, ďWhat is the big deal?Ē Well, hereís the big deal. Does the word back have special privileges that the word front does not share? Or could it be vice versa, which is versa vise, vice versa? (Bet you never thought of that before and if you did, keep it to yourself.)

††††††††††† Why is that first R in February? And why is that first D in Wednesday? Hereís a little secret. They are not there for any reason at all. Itís just some egghead put them there just because they could. Thatís the reason there are silent letters in all the words that have silent letters. There is absolutely no reason for them to be there and if some egghead says thereís a reason. He or she is just making it up. Trust me on this one.

††††††††††† Why is it, if youíre from the Philippines (with a P) then you are a Filipino (with an F)?

††††††††††† If youíre being compelled that is a compulsion. Why isnít it compellsion or why arenít you being compulsed? Ask the eggheads. They made this stuff up.

††††††††††† I had a problem with my eyes and it wasnít astigmatism. It was an astigmatism. Now Iím just getting ridiculous so Iíll just bid you adieu.


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