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©Melvin on Weddings

(copyright 2009)


          I hate going to weddings. It’s just not a guy thing. You’ve got to admit, weddings are more of a chick thing. That’s why my wife loves going to weddings. But that creates a conflict in our house when there’s a wedding.  And trust me, there’s always wedding somewhere and wives can find them. In fact, they seem to gravitate toward weddings.

I went to our wedding without arguing, just because it seemed like the right thing to do. But you go to one wedding and they want you to go to everybody‘s wedding. And most of them are her friends, people I barely know. Oh sure, she’ll say, “It’s your cousin.” That doesn’t mean I know them well enough to go to their wedding.

          Or she’ll get you with this line. “But your children are going to be pall bearers in wedding.” “Okay, I’ll go.” You see, that’s always the trick they pull. They get your kids in the wedding, and then you feel bad if you don’t go.

And when your kids grow up and get married, you go to their wedding because, there again, it’s the right thing to do. But then your kids start putting your grandkids in the weddings. And you sure don’t know those people who are getting married. They’re friends of your children, who you probably never even met (not your children, their friends).

So where’s it ever going to stop? Oh sure, she’ll tell you, “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” And she uses that voice that you know all too well. Then you have a decision to make. Do you want a few hours of watered-down hell or a few weeks of pure hell?



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